Outta The Closet...

outta the closet, back in the closet. this must be a writers thing... perhaps its safer to keep all these musings to myself.

but they wont let me alone. they want to be out there, and they want to be raw and kinda uncut, so here goes attempt number two.

and this is the life of a writer who is also a starseed - the journey can sometimes grab us and take us for a (helluva) ride for a while, then dump us unceremoniously on the beach to process what-the-hell-just-happened.
so, who are you, who who?

thats how my journey started, at age 40. this question would not let me be, i had to dig into it. and of course the universe initiated the whole deal by thwumping down a great whopping tree trunk in my path (the first of many).
tree-trunks-from-the-universe might be happening to a whole bunch of people right now. so this peek outta the closet might be just the right time.

so a marriage ending is a fairly hefty tree trunk. and, just so i really grocked this message from the universe, a second marriage also ended in a much more difficult way than the first.

initiations are what my guidance is telling me. the path of the ordinary initiate. ordinary, so i can tell this story in a way that most people can hear it, and, initiations are something that are a part of life lived on a planet that generates natural cycles. ever felt weird during a full moon?  all that weirdness that is felt - serves to garner your attention, to pull you out of the mundane everyday mainstream existence and provide a glimpse of the extraordinary (which might be exactly where we are all headed!).

and so my guidance prompts me: `just how have you dealt with this - what experiences have come your way, what research have you done, what awarenesses have been downloaded, what has been tempered, put thru the crucible, the cauldron, what have we just picked out of the ironsmithys furnace?`

starseed, wanderer, mission,trojan horse, et101, awaken

repeated muddying of the aquarium of consciousness

unearthing, utilizing and refining gifts of spirit

shake off some more mud

build that lightbody

do that service work

more rounds of the above until you just cant stand it anymore

rounds of overwhelm, being flattened by it, awareness of being flattened by overwhelming energies, building boundaries and repeating until strength and resilience emerge and become stable
more rounds of all of the above until you cant stand it anymore

then, inner peace comes in - and it is in-my-face!

more rounds of all of the above and extending the peacefulness further and further

letting go of the old, the service work contracts ending, each one at various different times

more rounds of the above to confuse and build discernment of where-you-are-at

slight discernment with mostly not feeling the relief

moments of relief and feeling what-might-be

more rounds of all of the above

some shadow aspects getting jumpy that no forward motion has been spotted as yet, and we are all still very very uncomfortable yet knowing uncomfortable is exactly what purportedly is needed

and then relief is spotted, entertained, enjoyed all the while continuing to look-over-the-shoulders-for (all of the above)

if this makes any sense at all, then its highly likely that you are amidst this renaissance of consciousness - kinda like da vinci and his amazing artist friends back in the 16th century swept away by incredible art, only right now its consciousness expansion (which might include creating great art!).

some call it a spiritual awakening, and yeah for those who have not had a spiritual experience it can feel as if that is the main focus.

but this consciousness expansion hits on every level, physical mental emotional and spiritual.
more on this, but now, time for coffee!
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